Absolutely Not A Star Wars Game

Introducing "Absolutely Not A Star Wars Game" — the game that's so far from being a Star Wars game, it might as well be set in a galaxy right here and terribly, terribly now. In this definitely-not-copyright-infringing adventure, you'll take to the skies not as Luke Skywalker, but as Luke Skyflapper, piloting the iconic and totally not trademarked X-Wing. It's an X because, well, it marks the spot where your dignity goes to die as you endlessly flap through obstacle after obstacle.

Dive (and flap) into a world filled with suspiciously familiar-looking, yet legally distinct, green pipes. Why are they in space? Who put them there? Are they the remnants of the Death Sta—I mean, the Definitely-Not-Death Star? Questions abound, but answers? Not so much.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it (and let's be honest, you will because procrastination is a powerful force), is to navigate the treacherous terrain of Not-Tatooine, flap past the definitely-not-an-Imperial blockade, and avoid the absolutely-not-TIE-fighters that look more like bow ties than anything else. And let's not forget the ultimate boss battle against Not-Vader, who’s really just a misunderstood guy with asthma and a penchant for black.

Game Features Include:

- **100% Original Soundtrack**: Featuring the hit single, "The Flaps", which sounds nothing like any space opera theme you've ever heard. Honestly, it's just a lot of beeping. The composer was a microwave.

- **Cutting-Edge Graphics**: So pixelated, you'll think your screen is dirty. But it's not. That's just the game.

- **Innovative Gameplay**: Click to bounce. That's it. We thought about adding more features, but we were too busy not getting sued.

- **Customizable Ships**: Choose from a variety of colors for your X-Wing, ranging from "Slightly Off-White" to "Is That Grey or Just Dust?" Make it your own!

- **Engaging Storyline**: There isn’t one. It’s a ship. It bounces. End of story.

So, ready your clickers for the flapping frenzy that is "Absolutely Not A Star Wars Game" — the game where the Force is strong, but the urge to throw your mouse is stronger. May the Flaps be with you, always.